NASA scientists announced this week that they have chosen Star Fox team as the pilots for the first NASA mission to mars.
Team Star Fox, lead by Fox McCloud, gained fame around the world in 1997, when a historical record of their valiant effort save the Lylat System from Andross became available on Earth. McCloud and his team members, Falco Lombardi, Peppy Hare and Slippy Toad arrived on earth shortly thereafter.
“Given their extensive experience in interstellar travel, Team Star Fox seemed like the ideal candidates to ensure the success of our first manned flight to mars,” said NASA engineer Mega Man.
While Team Star Fox has appeared multiple times since the announcement for public appearances, it has been reported that team members, most notably Lombardi, have disparaged the project. One witness recorded some of Lombardi’s statements.
“Have you seen the piece of shit they are sending us up in? We had Arwings almost 20 years ago, and this is the best they’ve got? Amateurs,” Falco said on the recording.
When questioned about his teammate’s comments, team leader McCloud did not deny that Lombardi had made the comments, but he did make an attempt to shed light on his cynicism.
“Back in the Lylat system, would just pick up in the afternoon and fly from Corneria to Fichina for ice cream,” said McCloud. “So you can probably see why this is not quite as exciting from Falco’s viewpoint. But the fact that this kind of thing is old hat for us is exactly why we are ideally prepared to execute the mission.
After McCloud provided that explanation, Lombardi was again heard discussing the situation.
“We are ‘ideally prepared’ because we are completely broke,” Lombardi was heard to say. “NASA needed a big name to get people excited about their crappy spaceship, but Commander Shepard, Isaac Clarke, Jim Raynor and even Wolf O’Donnell all turned them down. They wanted somebody edgy. They got a toad and a fluffy bunny. At least there’s still one badass on this team, and I don’t mean Fox.”
When asked if the contention within Team Star Fox raised concerns about the mission, Mega Man, said they expected as much.
“Infighting within Team Star Fox is nothing new. The historical records of the Lylat War demonstrate friction between Lombardi and McCloud, but they always get the mission done, so we are not concerned,” said Mega Man